Confession time in Juliusland !

And these are the results of the dutch jury:

this is Part 2, if you did not read Part 1 yet go here

I was born in Belgrade (former capitol of Yugoslavia) while my parents were 'students' of some sort living there for a year I believe. It was in the year of the fire-horse, which Asian people believe is a disastrous year to have your child born in... I won't tell you my month of birth, because I don't like being judged by astrological fools that still believe in starry skies as they were seen 2000 years ago. HULLOH! The stars have moved since then, so much even, that all signs people think they are born under, are totally false! I've written a very interesting dutch article about this. The asian astrology myths however are more right as they measure shit having to do with the moon, which is much more applicable and precise. Did you know that our moon is the biggest moon we know exists?


I grew up, as of age zero in Amsterdam. Yes, I traveled by plane when I was a baby, now how many of you can say that huh!? Luckily this plane didn't crash. That's right, I'm alive now, and I think I don't ever wanna die either. I hear people ask: Who wants to live forever? Well, I do. ( One day I'd like to become master of the universe ;-) Oh sure, I've already experienced some real depressing years here and there, but never felt a tendency to try suicide or to smoke or drink a lot or to use drugs. If MAO-inhibitors don't count that is (not gonna explain what they do now). I often find that even the gross and terrible things of being here are pretty worthwhile and sometimes funny. In total contrast with that unquenchable positive thinking;
Newsgroups in USENET where I used to hang out from time to time (I created most of them too by the way):
alt.comp.periphs.mainboard.asus | | alt.hate.a2000 | alt.idiot.hens | | | | alt.angst (I'm a member of The Ring) | | | alt.www.webmaster | comp.fonts | | | nl.muziek | | xs4all.general | xs4all.www.scripts | cistron.broadband
and of course:
People wanting to destroy this planet are usually talking more sense than those making a religion out of pro-life crap. At least that's my observation. It's like that expression;
You have to know your enemy if you want to win the battle. It's the same with this planet, we have to find out ways how to destroy it if we want to know how to maintain it. I once wrote a 150 pages book about it, filled with poetry from my teens and stuff about why one shouldn't have children and about our future on earth. Very creepy material. Sold like crap. The book was titled WACHT MAAR Tot Mijn Boek Uitkomt! (Wait till my book comes out!) ISBN 90-802031-2-2, it can even be found in many public libraries here. I think I wrote the book 'cause I like to play mindgames with people, especially when they involve erotic tension with some beauty somewhere. By the way, some people have bombarded me and that book (Wacht Maar etc..) to play the lead-role in a dutch sci-fi-like storybook, it's online now, en wel hier.


When I was 12 years of age my sister and I were sort of forced to move to Oldenzaal (because of my mother getting a better paid job, as a teacher there, and because she thought it was better for us not to grow up in Amsterdam). Oldenzaal, Boeskoolcity, what a time I've had over there! I still don't know if I liked it or not. It had its advantages. It wasn't a village, it was bigger, people knew each other, but not everybody. It's located in Twente (Overijssel) near the border of Germany. Of course I moved back to Amsterdam after having lived in Oldenzaal for about 10 years. If any of you reading this are living in Oldenzaal, please mail me! I like to ask you if some things are still there and stuff.
You can read some sort of Curriculum Vitae if you want, but I have to stress that I don't like being judged on what's in there, it's usually wrong judgement. I've done more with my life so far than any of that can explain. And I don't think certificates or school-diplomas really say anything about anyone. They might shape you somewhat, but not all that much.


You might be wondering, do I know this guy from something? Is he famous? Well, actually, I have been and still am in some areas. For instance, I became very popular (NO REALLY!) and well-known at school (at age 14) when my identity as that mystery-radio-jock got to be revealed. What, is that YOU ?!?  Before that I was not a very outspoken boy at school, in fact I think I hated school. I experienced the exact same (well almost) as Christian Slater did in Pump Up The Volume, the movie. Funny thing is that people used to say I was shy and introvert, while nowadays it seems I've become the exact opposite, I can't keep my damn mouth shut, I'm very bad at keeping things secret, I have a kinship with actors like Griffin Dunne in that regard. I'm like able to prevent any horrendous crime from taking place just by annoying the criminals with a flood of sensitive talk. I still like music, radio and all things having to do with all media and the entertainment industry very much. I have always kept myself up to date with what was happening music-wise. Lately I'm not as fanatic anymore, but still very much in sync with today's teenagers I must admit. I don't like growing old, most of all I hate the skin-effects that go with it. I don't think I will ever 'settle down' or retire. I'd rather stay as young as possible for as long as possible, but it seems I don't have to do anything to achieve that, I just have to try and stay myself really. Well then: How do I look? Ehehem, good doesn't even cover it! I'm a monster! The beast! People used to call me Agent 007, still not sure why, I don't like Vodka.

And God said, "Let there be vodka!"
And He saw that it was good.
Then God said,  "Let there be light!"
And then He said, "Whoa - too much light."

I NEVER EVER felt any homosexual tendencies (please don't gimme that "Oh, he likes Madonna - must be gay!"). Probably even refused to join the army for that reason: Just men? Get out! Hey, I'm secure enough in my masculinity to, haha, admit that I have feelings and emotions, that I can cry. No wait, this one's good: I'm very much in touch with my feminine side. I get tears in my eyes from looking at certain soulful scenes, especially the very romantic reunions, in movies. They really hammer me home. If I like the actors, that is.

Being excentrical seems to run in my family, and I've never really belonged to any group or party, you can't put a label on me (I don't belong period). The thing with me is I've never been unhappy in that position, au contraire, I think I LIKE IT! Can I say the cliché? Happiness comes from within. I'm one of those rare guys that truly is quite happy being who he is and how he looks, without being very vain (I hope). I would never tattoo my body and I'm not unhappy with it without peircings and shit like that. I wanna be as healthy as I can be. And of course I have a high serotonine-level in my brain, so hey, no problems there either...


Now, about trouble and desire. YEP! What else is there anyway? To be honest, I don't really understand much of that anal fixation though, it seems to rule the planet these days. We must be the only species that order around partners to poke in each other's excrements; Fuck me in the ass! Really, how sane is that? Anyway, I think sex is best when you're not in a hurry and there's that undescribable primal tension with her. I know when it's there when she gets sort of nervous around me and I get nervous around her. It's in the eyes. I like to take it slow, it's not necessarily the intercourse-bit, that's where women often are way off with me; YES I enjoy the hugging and holding and caressing part, the freedom when there's complete trust and unlimited frankness, the talking with barely anything in between, and simply the touch. Yes, you could say that I love to love, even if my heart gets smashed into pieces, does it make a difference? TRY AGAIN NEXT TIME Haven't you noticed that heartbreaks can be just great! Sure, sometimes I could cry if I'm not getting my way, but hey, you live you learn. I'm very much surprised though, by prejudicial behavior some girls tend to display. It could be so complete and OK sometimes, yet still they postpone the good-times or say no, or they pretend to have a good relationship with some jerk. Some rather play hard to get and be treated like shit than to experience something better and just dump the asshole for me. ;-) Probably those types of women do not know how to love themselves or something. I should say something like: Well then, scram, and call me when you're ready for a serious passionate romance! But I never do, I can't, they're just too sweet and fragile, I always feel so bad in comparison. The original biological male-hood and stuff. Remarkable detail:
I hear this is something to be proud of.. Personally I have my doubts about that. I might as well have become a pornstar and it would not have mattered much.

So, OK everybody!
Feel free to contact me, who and where ever you are.
I mean: This is my nightmare. I really HATE when it says:
You have no new email.
And be sure to always take a good look around...
My sites have hidden agendas, yes, I think I like mystery...

Julius,  Amsterdam
that's Avé Caesar to you

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